We are seriously cool AF. LOL. That was my first thought, however, so I am sticking to it. Seriously though, we are one sexy, awesome, chill, fun, FUNNY, secure, down-to-earth, open-minded couple. We rock. I love us. We have been in each other's lives since we were 8 years old, and have spent the past (almost) 7 years cohabitating. Lovers, best friends, partners in crime, etc. You rarely see one without the other. Not in a sappy, make u vom kinda way though. No one we have ever welcomed into our home (our sanctuary) has ever felt like a 3rd wheel. We don't do small talk, bullshit, political, or religious banter. We dive straight into the "good stuff" and see where the stimulating conversation leads...

My Ideal Person Hmmm...ONE WHO DOESN'T SEND DICK PICS, for starters.

Seriously, if your profile pic is a pic of your 70's bush-sportin' tallywacker (bonus if the background is akin to Hoarders Buried Alive), AVERT YOUR EYES, SIR, AND PROMPTLY EXIT OUR PROFILE. Unless u have a 12-inch golden cock tattooed with the Krabby Patty secret recipe...maybe. But let's just not, ok? Respectful single males will be considered on a case by case basis, but, tbh, chances are pretttttty slim.

WE WANT TO VIBE AND HAVE NSA, FWB ADULT FUN WITH A HOT *FEMALE*! Is a unicorn with a golden vagina too much to ask? Love to form a triad with a free-spirited feminine hottie who matches our energy. Someone who can stop by for some libations and snacks and has zero problem fornicating if, OOPS, everyone's clothes maybe fall off.

Down-to-earth, sexually openminded and confident, spontaneous, looks amazing in both lingerie and sweatpants. Someone who isn't afraid to venture out of their comfort zone and get "c-literally" SPOILED by the Dynamic Duo...

Intrigued? Does this sound like YOU? Drop us a message. We don't bite...well, not too hard at least...

What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
The beach, The middle of a park, An airplane, A movie theatre, Under a waterfall, My desk at work, A swimming pool or hot tub, An elevator, Anywhere

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Toys (Vibrators/Dildos/etc.), Fetishes, Light Bondage, Candle Wax, Spanking, Role Playing, Threesomes, Slave/Master, Mutual Masturbation, Making Home "Movies", Participating in Erotic Photography, Voyeurism, Handcuffs/Shackles, Breast/Nipple Torture, Clamps, etc., Blindfolds, Leather, Massage

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Physical attraction

Have you ever had cybersex?:
No way. I only want skin on skin.

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