If U Seek Amy
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My Sexual User's Guide v. 1.0
Posted:Jun 28, 2018 11:27 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2018 3:52 pm

PHILOSOPHY To be honest, I still struggle with sexual trauma of my past, but as I get older, I'm embracing that I'm a sexual being deserving of pleasure and wanting to give pleasure. Sex is natural, nudity is natural and our bodies- what they can and can't do aren't anything to be ashamed of. Nothing wrong with what your desires are. Sex isn't a weapon to be used to coerce or harm anyone emotionally, physically, or psychologically. Sex should be a consensual act between adults of legal age. There should be no pressure to have sex if a person isn't ready. I believe that people shouldn't be punished for consenting, and then changing their minds later on; their decision should be respected. I believe that the government should fuck off when it comes to what two or more consenting adults do in their bedroom. I believe women should have more sexual freedom, and that their bodies aren't objects or ornaments. I believe that not all men oversexed, and that some do want to have sex when they feel ready. Just like I dont believe that all women are demure and have a low sex drive.

I'm straight, boo. Because I dislike how men tend to treat women and I'm very vocal about that doesn't mean I'm going to switch teams. Now what type of man, the less touched by toxic masculine stereotypes the better.


*A no pressure daytime meet in public, i.e the mall, starbucks (or a better coffee spot) or over lunch.

*I don't have a car, so I prefer being picked up. If you don't have a car, I can make it by uber, but this would have to be at the top of the month.

*To host at my place, since I feel safer and have the home advantage. Right now I live with family with a religious mom and two small children (not mines), so if you can pop for a room, that's fine. If you can host at your place, even better.

*To have conversation, a massage or cuddle; I have anxiety disorder and before sex is when I'm the most nervous. Even if I'm into the guy, I need reassurance and it's nothing personal against the guy.

*Proper hygiene, a clean space and clean clothes. I always shower, brush my teeth, etc, and trim my pubic hair (unless I'm lazy) and clean my area before meeting someone, and I expect the same.

*To have antibacterial wipes or hand sanitizer on hand, and to not use spit as lube since I'm prone to yeast infections and BV. Not a neat freak, just careful when it comes to germs and sexual contact.

*If we haven't agreed ahead of time that it's a casual but "monogamous" thing with both of us having been tested recently- I HIGHLY prefer using condoms. I have an IUD, but the nature of the device won't allow me catching STI.

*To have a slightly warm-ish room, because I feel I perform better when I'm not cool or freezing.

*To have water or gatorade and snacks on hand. Because you work up and appetite and you sweat, duh. Also because no one can perform on an empty stomach, and I also get low blood sugar.

*To at least go more than one round and have more than one orgasm, if possible. Of course there's schedules to consider, but in general I don't normally care for just one go around. Even if it's just helping me while I get my ownself off.

*To please each other equally; I don't do selfish lovers or "pillow princess" shit. I give back as good as he gives me. If you can't, don't expect to see me again.

*To use toys and sexual aids (like lube for example) to enhance the experience, and not to be shamed or embarrassed or denied using toys and aids. (some guys have tried to get me off by sheer will, but I do need outside stimulation that's more than just vaginal penetration and mindless thrusting)

*Boundaries and consent, and to discuss anything we'd like to do before entering into a sexual relationship. Not forced to do anything I don't want to, and the guy to have the same expectation.

TURN ONS (physical)
Toned shoulders
Graceful necks
Brunettes - not dirty blonde, or plain brown hair but rich and dark brown, dark auburn
"Salt & pepper" brunettes
Bald guys with groomed beards
Groomed beards and stubble
Full lips or well-shaped mouths
Freckles and moles
Pale, but not transclusent skin
Curly or wavy hair
Thick and groomed eyebrows
Husky/thick built men, i.e "big handsome men", "dad bods", pre-Marvel Chris Pratt, "teddy bears"
Swimmer's build, i.e tall, lean and athletic or short, athletic and lean
Bubble butts
Toned calves and thighs
Scars (depending on the guy and where the scars are located)
Adonis belts
**keep in mind, any of these in combination and not all are set in stone

TURN ONS (sexual)

Grunts, long and vulnerable moaning, groans
Uncut cock
Hangy ballsacks
Guys who pre cum
Grinding against my backside or crotch during foreplay
Ear play: heavy breathing, licking, lightly stroking, lobe nibbling
"Begging" to be inside me
Breast and nipple play: licking, nibbling, pinching, kneading, groping, sucking, etc
Nipple play and making out
Displays of strength (if at all possible): picked up and carried, yanked towards him, being pinned down during sex

Negging, begging, any form of manipulation
R*** fantasies
Scat, blood, spit
Incest fantasies
Bad hygiene (unkempt hair and or facial hair, long nails, dirty clothes, BO, untrimmed or unshaved pubes, stank breath)
Lying about important things, i.e having a partner, having children
Disregard for sexual health, i.e not using condoms
Sexually aggressive from the jump
Being called "sweetie" or any term of endearment without knowing me
For White guys, asking me "If I ever been with a white guy" or basically implying that your interest in me is for bucket list purposes


Ass play: rimming, fingering, groping, biting
Bulges, hard-ons, dick prints and outlines
Oil play - coconut oil/baby oil/lubed handjobs
Spanking - ass and breasts
Sensory stimulation: fabrics across the nipples and clit for example, aural stimulation: distinctive voices, being vocal
Parked car sex
Passive exhibitionism
Hands and finger worship (if he has nice hands)
Biting: wrists, upper back, butt, collar bone

Favorite positions
Doggy style, cowgirl, missionary, spooning position, belly down w/ guy on top
Is a turn off a turn off?
Posted:Nov 19, 2018 4:49 am
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2018 4:50 am

Just wondering by the nature of this site, and the reason why some, just SOME men cheat on their partners...is a woman that's mostly "vanilla" in her sexual interests a turn off to some men? For example, myself. I'm not interested in sleeping with couples. At least those with a man and a woman (male/male has been an interest of mines for awhile now) because of the biggest reason being that I don't find women sexually attractive enough to sleep with one.

Since I don't think there's a male alive that doesn't find (for his own gaze) girl on girl action hot, I'm probably considered less potential than a woman who is bisexual and willing.

Is that true, or just something I'm suspicious about?
1 comment
How would you rate yourself?
Posted:Nov 18, 2018 9:22 am
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2018 8:42 pm

When it comes to sex overall? A lot of people boast as it's de rigure on a place like this to advertise their prowess like a product; but have you really stepped back to take an honest assessment? This is another type of blog that may go off the rails, because I'll be the only one to actually open up and criticize myself. Like I am now.

For assessing, I break it down into things like:

-Communication, as in how well do you talk about your needs and wants in bed? Do you talk openly and honestly about your sexual history and options for safe sex?

-Expressiveness, as in being vocal and tactile and receptive to both. Are you energetic and enthusiastic, or lethargic and passive?

-Hygiene and health, which is self explanatory. Are you head to toe with cleanliness? Do you smell nice? Do you get tested and encourage your partners to?

-Seductive skills? This is dependent on a lot of factors, but mostly is it healthy. As in can you get a woman or man into bed without relying on coercion and mind games?

-Skill, which is also self explanatory. How well do you think you fuck? Nothing like feedback from others, but what do you think of yourself, I.e do you got the moves and how many positions can you do? Are you good at foreplay?

-Expansiveness and experience? In 2018, I'm surprised how dense most people are about sex, anatomy, different lifestyles, orientations and gender, etc. It's not bad if you're willing to educate yourself on such things, but it feels like no one wants to. Experience is basically asking, can you get a zero on the purity test? If not, are you willing to experiment and experience more?

- The interpersonal, as in are you caring and considerate to your partner? Do you listen to them? Basically good, giving and game. Or are you a selfish git? (some people will say that they aren't selfish in bed because they don't want to ruin their chances)

I'm curious to hear from you
I'm just going to be gay, then!
Posted:Nov 17, 2018 10:21 am
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2018 4:29 am

I never realized that until now about that, until I saw a comment in my previous post from some random who more or less said that straight men looking for gay sex was because of feminism.

Why do we fall back on that option, as if it's a real option? I've even said it along with other frustrated women that: "Maybe I should switch sides!" Here's the shitty logic in straight people thinking that's a go to...

1. To that guy in the blog comments: So when guys say things like that, you're saying that you would rather suck dick than respect a woman, even though you under normal circumstances wouldn't do anything remotely homosexual? That's stupid. You're stupid.

2. BEING GAY IS NOT A CHOICE! When frustrated straight people think that can, it's just an insult to the LGBT+ movement and their struggles, just because you or others suck at dating.

3. Staunchly gay and lesbian folks don't want you. With the exception of gay folks with no direction or scruples, none of them are out to seduce straight people anyway.

5. The grass ain't greener, because gay people have the same issues straight people do in dating, but two fold. Hell, being gay is tougher than being straight, and you want to add on more stress to your life? Oh.

6. Going back to #2, you just don't up and decide that you are gay just because being straight is a hassle. If you wanted to hookup with the same sex, then you were probably suppressing your true urges in the first place. You just wanted an excuse.

In closing, a culture and orientation isn't something that you fall back on just because heterosexual dating is a shitty ordeal. Haven't the gays suffered enough with our straight bullshit?
The future of sex?
Posted:Nov 15, 2018 8:48 pm
Last Updated:Nov 17, 2018 9:51 am

I decided to ask you guys this question; since I posed such a question to one of the walking gonads of this website, and him expecting something more scintillating and simple never replied to me. I honestly don't think it a hard question to answer...

Do you think that we as humans will still be having sex with each other with all the technologies and social trends developing in the next generation or so?

If we attention to the current trends right now in the world, including social ones like the #metoo movement, which has sent men who aren't even guilty of anything running away in paranoia. In places like Japan where women opt for rental boyfriends, "host clubs" and even having guys to come by cry with them (yes, this is a thing)

Or technology like VR? 3D printing? Vaginal restorative surgeries? Men literally being given new dicks that they lost in accidents and scientists who can incubate fetuses in pods, kind of like in The Matrix.

Most of all, the internet and AI. People are opting more for just having cam and cyber sex, instead of going out to meet people in person. We work longer hours for less , and in general, people date less often when there's no prosperity going around. Realistic sex dolls are an option for those who can afford it. Artificial intelligence, even though on a small scale is a reality right now. We already have robots that can run, backflip, and carry on full conversation...its only a matter of time before we have "pleasure bots"...

What do you guys think? And do you think you would participate in these future trends?
Everything hurts and I'm dying
Posted:Nov 2, 2018 10:08 pm
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2018 9:44 am

For the past nine , moving just myself wasn't much of a pain because it was just me. After today, so many mysteries I've yet to have answered, like: HOW CAN THIS FAMILY AFTER SO MANY DONATIONS TO GOODWILL STILL HAVE THIS MUCH FUCKING SHIT?! Really...what's the biggest truck uhaul has? Times that by two trips, and we still had to throw stuff away.


Why are children?

I love my little niece, and she loves me. Anytime she sees me, she takes off crawling towards my direction and I smother her with hugs and kisses. Yet, sometimes I think that her father is actually a banshee, maybe demon? She bucks, she wails, she screeches and struggles and more often than not I want to drug her sippy cup with with melatonin. Imagine a car ride for twenty minutes of just that. Imagine her crawling out the door in the midst of moving. Imagine her brother who is like a cat incarnate, because he literally gets into everything. If not that, he's literally underfoot almost causing accidents...


Can't you tell tired?

So we took so long despite a team of sister, BIL, my teenage nephew and myself. The Youngest Sibling ™ shirked responsibility by going to work. This is not odd until you know that she does this when it counts. She almost cost us the deposit because she didn't have her share. My mom, ever the enabler paid her part. She also did the entitled cunt thing and complained about what little she did do to "help". So our rag tag crew hauled heavy shit in the rain twice times over ontop of cleaning what we could, to which we'll be back over the weekend.

I have the room at the very end of the hall. We have our own bathroom on our side. And thank Christ, my sister and her family are on their own. We still have about 70% left to unpack and put away but right now, so tired that sleeping on the floor, which is carpeted. My back will probably benefit from this.

One more thing - no internet or cable because I wasn't sure if we due to govt bureaucracy would even get the fucking place. Govt subsidy requires an inspection and thankfully it passed. But I also didn't secure a reschedule, so the cable guy came by for nothing and Monday would be the soonest he could return. Yeah...

I don't give a fuck, maybe things will get done expeditiously, instead of everyone glued to the idiot box...an me at the world wide idiot box.
Down to the wire.
Posted:Oct 29, 2018 5:58 am
Last Updated:Nov 3, 2018 9:50 am

Coming down to the wire. Already established internet and cable service for the new place, and got 70% of my stuff put away and packed. One thing that irks me hard is that I have extra stuff in the outside closet that I need to get out of the way, but the key? Where's the fucking key? It's always been in the junk drawer in the kitchen, but Wonder Woman, my mother, probably lost it in her crusade to pack away stuff people still need to use. Anyway, I'm not leaving my kitchenwares behind to be put on the side of the curb by management. If I have to lug her her out of bed to help me find it, so be it because everything expected of me in this house I do...even when tired and even when everyone except my youngest sister busts their asses to keep things going around here...

Also, my period is on, and I have the feeling that I'm not going to be here for anyone's shit. So no more elderly viagra fueled males accosting me in my inbox. No more zygotes who haven't reached sexual or emotional maturity thinking they had a prayer in hell with me and no more of the dumpster fire that is outcupid.com. Not until I'm settled into this other place with my equally infuriating family.

My profile will be off maybe temporarily, so thirsty fuckboys of all ages, enjoy the saggy udders for a few hours more. I have shit to do, and I don't need the extra stress of sorry ass do nothing males viewing me with intent of doing fuck all (or in this case, fuck less)
Friday Ketchup: Amy is on the move
Posted:Oct 26, 2018 7:09 pm
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2018 8:12 pm

Been awhile since I did one of these...plus trying not to fall asleep, until I scrape together something to eat. You see, after six months of being here, bound to pack up my shit for the second time this fucking year and move. This time with my family. As shitty as they are, I've become "comfortably numb" to the dysfunction and chaos, but I look forward to this one: we get an extra bathroom! No more waiting for the youngest sibling and her thirty minute showers. No more musky, damp, mildewy, piss smell with a top note of toothpaste and cheap bodywash. Also, better side of town.

I used to live in the neighborhood around the corner from this apartment complex we're moving to and I loved it. 10-15 drive via the interstate from a variety of decent places to shop, 5 from the mall (traffic permitting) and another 5 for my primary care doctor. I haven't told my FWB "Veggie" yet, but he won't have to drive far to come get me, since the hotel he always books in town is on my new side of town. Huzzah. Plus, my married friend "Papi" works on that side of town, too. going to get to him, because I saw him last night.

Moving is painful at least here, because everyone is broke and there's no food with the exception of ramen. I blame myself this time. The money I did have after bills was squandered away on emotional eating....well, you try being who I am, living with whom living with and you'd stuff your face too. That and plans were tentative at best, because we're dealing with subsidized housing. We're woefully underprepared, but still pushing through.

So a meltdown about dearth of boxes and food, acerbated by my lack of decent sleep, and shiftless youngest sister being mouthy, useless and lazy while everyone else busted their asses, pushed me over the edge. Fortunately I was talking to him, and he delivered on the boxes at least.

I hadn't seen him in person for weeks, and the first kiss he gave me before he brought the boxes in my house...shit, I think rose off my feet a little. It was rainy that night, so I insisted we mess around in his jeep for a few minutes; plus this was around the time BIL was going to go fetch my sister from work, so him and the kids walking on me getting kissed and felt up wouldn't of been embarrassing to say the least.

How does one explain bliss? He looked, smelled, tasted, sounded and felt heavenly. I drowned in his soft lips and his hands groped and kneaded my boobs, nipples were pinched and sucked. His fingers tried to rub me off outside my PJ bottoms and I almost came from that...he was that good. After twenty minutes, we had to wrap it up, but before he walked me to my door I took his thumb and simulated a blowjob which made him even more rock hard. Of course he had to let me see and feel, and sure enough, throbbing and straining against his work slacks.

It took a lot of will for us to get out of his car and him to get me to the door, but finally after some petting, necking and rubbing against each other he finally got me to the door. And we still couldn't keep our hands off each other. But we finally parted after that, him leaving me with a kiss and caress of my face that had me floating again.

You know, after that, I feel purposeful again. Just five more days of packing and getting things in order. Five more days until I have a fresh start, sort of. But most, not too long before I get to see him more than just a few weeks at a time...
A little sexy survey of sorts
Posted:Oct 24, 2018 11:31 am
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2018 11:51 am

In honor of Scorpio season, sexy stuff, since they're the sign that rules that department. Besides, it's time to take a break from the serious for a few.

1. What is your definition of sexy? Is it an inherent trait or something you work towards?
2. What do you find sexy about yourself? (it can be physical or other)
3. Is there a scent, piece of clothing or something you do or say that turns on others?
4. Sexiest song you ever heard?
5. Sexiest celebrity?
6. Sexiest field of work?
7. Something out of the ordinary that turns you on?
8. Sexiest star sign (if astrology isn't your thing, you can skip it)
9. Sexiest color a person can wear?
10. Who's the sexiest member on this website? And why?

My answers if anyone is interested...
1. I think being sexy is both, but in some cases not both at the same time. You can be born with the power of attraction, some have to work for it.

2. I don't think about it much, but if I were to wager a bet - my frank attitude towards life. Then my eyes, then my tits...in that order.

3. Anytime I wear a dress or skirt, that seems to drive men apeshit.

4. Hm. I think I might do a separate post on that, because it's too extensive.

5. Easy, at least with me...Henry Cavil. The brunette/blue eyes combo gets these panties wet. Plus his natural hair is curly and he has chest hair. GRRR.

6. Performing arts, and me being a cliché - writers, actors, musicians, photographers, singers, and illustrators. However, I find educators sexy; a guy who says he's a teacher or is going to be one, his stock rises in my book. I find male nurses appealing, only because of the subversion of what was seen as a traditionally female profession. Chefs, and culinary arts in general. Lastly, scientists - either soft or hard sciences. I don't care.

7. Doesn't take a lot for me to get there. Lol

8. Aries because they always seem to keep me on my toes. They either like me chasing them or I like them chasing me. Gemini because of the breezy banter, intellect and lighthearted playfulness. Lastly, Scorpio because they're broody, moody, soulful, incisive, don't take any shit off of anyone, loyal and caring to a fault. And yes, sexy as fuck. Freaky as fuck. Best lovers I had were Scorps.

9. Black or red.

10. Well, it ain't me. Lol. biased, but my friend "Darrell" for his intelligence, playful and cheeky attitude, wit that keeps me cracking up and his compassion and warmth. He's also a big geek, which everyone knows I love. I think this is a given: Gardenboy. He's a passionate, poetic soul with romance in his veins. He has a beautiful mind, body and heart and doesn't seem to belong on a shallow place like this. He's a class act, and lucky the woman who finally wins his heart. And of the ladies? Lala, because she's not only beautiful (from what little of her I do see - but I judge people on their hearts, not looks) but vivacious and vibrant, warming up my dull little blog when she comments. She has the intellectual chops that I admire and she asks probing questions that don't deserve most of the shallow answers she gets on here. She's also too good to be on this dump, because she really isn't like most women.
Stream of consciousness on relationships
Posted:Oct 22, 2018 11:02 pm
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2018 3:22 pm

I wonder why and sometimes think that the reason why, at least part of the time when it comes to cheating in relationships is because people treat marriage and long-term relationships like a monolith. It's not fluid and allowed elbow room. It doesn't grow with some people and doesn't allow people to grow as people in general. I read somewhere, probably Psychology Today, that the key to long-term friendships is the willingness to grow together. I always saw long-term relationships and marriage as a best friend you always want to be around. Some people agree with that, some don’t.

See, I come from a different school of thought when it comes to relationships as of late. The whole “relationship anarchy “ thing I've been reading about and that how you can be more fluid and flexible in relationships from familial to platonic to romantic. I get that not everyone will think about this and that certain relationships have their place above others, and that you're supposed to treat people according to their role in your life and what society has pressed on us. However, our feelings for people aren't static as much as we would like them to be.

Why can't we see it like that? Why do we apply the measure of the temporal to the seriousness of the relationship? I always thought that the only way to know someone was to spend months and years getting to know them, but there's a flaw there. People keep secrets for one; when things tend to go south, what's the first thing people say? “You think you know someone”. Secondly, people literally change from seven to ten years. They take on new habits, interests, points of view, etc. Friends, family and lovers either go in the same direction or become divergent. Thirdly, it's a comfort level thing. For example, some people tend to tell me things that they haven't really told anyone else for some reason or another. We bond from that. In fact, I have stronger ties to folks that aren't family more than my actual family. (don’t tell them that).

With also not equating measure of time spent to the seriousness of a relationship, there also a timeline, the dreaded escalator. Why does romance or friendship have to go only upwards to the next level to be a legitimate relationship? I'm not saying that something like fuck buddies can't grow into something meaningful, it's just why do they have to have a label, certain set of rules, and protocol? Why do we judge people who have been together for years, but never marry? Why do we judge people who have casual relationships for years and put undue pressure on them when where they are is just fine?

I was raised and brainwashed by television, so I was always told that my worth was only quantifiable by marriage, a home and kids in that order. I used to think that my folks having me out of wedlock was shameful, that I wasn't really worth anything by society's standards. Thing is that my parents did the right thing - my father was an abusive drunk and coke head who cheated on my mother. My mother was a neurotic nag with a temper and she also cheated. It was probably the more healthier option to just call it quits and not give your children the idea of that staying with an asshole person is “noble “, “loyal “ and “sacrificial “. It isn't.
Expectation vs. Reality
Posted:Oct 22, 2018 7:13 am
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2018 9:43 am

Everyone has expectations despite what they say to the contrary. If people didn't have any, no one would complain about this or other places, and I wouldn't make posts like these. So with dating as a whole--vanilla and alternative dating sites, what are your expectations and what you're looking for vs what you continue to get despite of everything?

- geeky or nerdy brunette, beard is optional
-local to me, like inside of town
-30 to 50 at the oldest
-gets my sense of humor
-loves cats
-looking for something long term

-men in their 60's, 70's, even 80's who swear up and down they're youthful with good stamina
- men who call you racist slurs upon rejection
- men from other states, even countries looking for a cheap hookup while in town
-guys younger than my youngest sister (she'll be 23 soon) who are looking for "milfs"
- lazy uninspired conversation
- guys who think you're the WORST if you don't love their dog
- guys with zero self confidence
- literal sociopaths
- overconfident guys who assume that you will hop on their dick, because why not?
- other races looking to try black women for the first time
- couples, mostly "unicorn hunters" who encroach on dating sites meant for singles
- chubby chasers, aka BBW lovers
- functional alkies
- sports nuts who eat, drink and shit college football
- single fathers with "baby mama drama"
- since I live in a college town, students who are looking for a cheap hookup
- guys who ghost you after a hook up
- "polyamorous" men, basically newbies who think that it consists two women to one guy
- "kinky" men, aka grampas in women's underwear and aggressive "submissive" men
- and drumroll please.....unhappily married men

To link to this blog (amy_G_dala) use [blog amy_G_dala] in your messages.

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