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My Sexual User's Guide v. 1.0
Posted:Jun 28, 2018 11:27 am
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2019 5:33 pm
8934 Views

PHILOSOPHY To be honest, I still struggle with sexual trauma of my past, but as I get older, I'm embracing that I'm a sexual being deserving of pleasure and wanting to give pleasure. Sex is natural, nudity is natural and our bodies- what they can and can't do aren't anything to be ashamed of. Nothing wrong with what your desires are. Sex isn't a weapon to be used to coerce or harm anyone emotionally, physically, or psychologically. Sex should be a consensual act between adults of legal age. There should be no pressure to have sex if a person isn't ready. I believe that people shouldn't be punished for consenting, and then changing their minds later on; their decision should be respected. I believe that the government should fuck off when it comes to what two or more consenting adults do in their bedroom. I believe women should have more sexual freedom, and that their bodies aren't objects or ornaments. I believe that not all men oversexed, and that some do want to have sex when they feel ready. Just like I dont believe that all women are demure and have a low sex drive.

ORIENTATION:
I'm straight, boo. Because I dislike how men tend to treat women and I'm very vocal about that doesn't mean I'm going to switch teams. Now what type of man, the less touched by toxic masculine stereotypes the better.

PREFERENCES

*A no pressure daytime meet in public, i.e the mall, starbucks (or a better coffee spot) or over lunch.

*I don't have a car, so I prefer being picked up. If you don't have a car, I can make it by uber, but this would have to be at the top of the month.

*To host at my place, since I feel safer and have the home advantage. Right now I live with family with a religious mom and two small children (not mines), so if you can pop for a room, that's fine. If you can host at your place, even better.

*To have conversation, a massage or cuddle; I have anxiety disorder and before sex is when I'm the most nervous. Even if I'm into the guy, I need reassurance and it's nothing personal against the guy.

*Proper hygiene, a clean space and clean clothes. I always shower, brush my teeth, etc, and trim my pubic hair (unless I'm lazy) and clean my area before meeting someone, and I expect the same.

*To have antibacterial wipes or hand sanitizer on hand, and to not use spit as lube since I'm prone to yeast infections and BV. Not a neat freak, just careful when it comes to germs and sexual contact.

*If we haven't agreed ahead of time that it's a casual but "monogamous" thing with both of us having been tested recently- I HIGHLY prefer using condoms. I have an IUD, but the nature of the device won't allow me catching STI.

*To have a slightly warm-ish room, because I feel I perform better when I'm not cool or freezing.

*To have water or gatorade and snacks on hand. Because you work up and appetite and you sweat, duh. Also because no one can perform on an empty stomach, and I also get low blood sugar.

*To at least go more than one round and have more than one orgasm, if possible. Of course there's schedules to consider, but in general I don't normally care for just one go around. Even if it's just helping me while I get my ownself off.

*To please each other equally; I don't do selfish lovers or "pillow princess" shit. I give back as good as he gives me. If you can't, don't expect to see me again.

*To use toys and sexual aids (like lube for example) to enhance the experience, and not to be shamed or embarrassed or denied using toys and aids. (some guys have tried to get me off by sheer will, but I do need outside stimulation that's more than just vaginal penetration and mindless thrusting)

*Boundaries and consent, and to discuss anything we'd like to do before entering into a sexual relationship. Not forced to do anything I don't want to, and the guy to have the same expectation.

TURN ONS (physical)
Toned shoulders
Graceful necks
Forearms
Brunettes - not dirty blonde, or plain brown hair but rich and dark brown, dark auburn
"Salt & pepper" brunettes
Bald guys with groomed beards
Groomed beards and stubble
Abs
Full lips or well-shaped mouths
Freckles and moles
Pale, but not transclusent skin
Curly or wavy hair
Thick and groomed eyebrows
Husky/thick built men, i.e "big handsome men", "dad bods", pre-Marvel Chris Pratt, "teddy bears"
Swimmer's build, i.e tall, lean and athletic or short, athletic and lean
Dimples
Eyelashes
Bubble butts
Toned calves and thighs
Scars (depending on the guy and where the scars are located)
Adonis belts
**keep in mind, any of these in combination and not all are set in stone

TURN ONS (sexual)

Grunts, long and vulnerable moaning, groans
Uncut cock
Hangy ballsacks
Guys who pre cum
Grinding against my backside or crotch during foreplay
Ear play: heavy breathing, licking, lightly stroking, lobe nibbling
"Begging" to be inside me
Breast and nipple play: licking, nibbling, pinching, kneading, groping, sucking, etc
Nipple play and making out
Displays of strength (if at all possible): picked up and carried, yanked towards him, being pinned down during sex
Necking

TURN OFFS/ OFF LIMITS
Pushiness/impatience
Negging, begging, any form of manipulation
R*** fantasies
Scat, blood, spit
Incest fantasies
Bestiality
Children
Bad hygiene (unkempt hair and or facial hair, long nails, dirty clothes, BO, untrimmed or unshaved pubes, stank breath)
Lying about important things, i.e having a partner, having children
Disregard for sexual health, i.e not using condoms
Sexually aggressive from the jump
Being called "sweetie" or any term of endearment without knowing me
For White guys, asking me "If I ever been with a white guy" or basically implying that your interest in me is for bucket list purposes

FETISHES

Ass play: rimming, fingering, groping, biting
Bulges, hard-ons, dick prints and outlines
Creampies
Oil play - coconut oil/baby oil/lubed handjobs
Spanking - ass and breasts
Sensory stimulation: fabrics across the nipples and clit for example, aural stimulation: distinctive voices, being vocal
Nipples
Facesitting
Hickies
Parked car sex
Passive exhibitionism
Hands and finger worship (if he has nice hands)
Biting: wrists, upper back, butt, collar bone

Favorite positions
Doggy style, cowgirl, missionary, spooning position, belly down w/ guy on top
10 Comments
Reasons why as a single girl, couples suck.
Posted:Feb 8, 2019 9:47 pm
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2019 9:09 am
440 Views

I'm going to get some flack from couples, and it's all good. I mean you fucks don't mind ruining my good time on here with your desperate behavior, so right the fuck back at you.

1. The dynamic is skewed and would be skewed, because what if a woman isn't attracted to you both at the same time? What if she wants to fuck one of you only? Or her preference changes to one partner leaving you out?

2. Having dealt with married couples and married men in romantic, platonic and domestic capacity, you have privileges and hierarchy that a single person doesn't. You might flex your muscle of coupledom and impose unfair rules on the third party, or veto things altogether. Especially not giving the third-party a say.

3. I learned a term dealing in (Un)ethical non monogamy, and it's called: "one penis policy". That seems automatic in couples on the hunt for a another woman. Hubby's cock cured your acne, improved your credit score, was the one who finally got Leo the Oscar and no other guy could compare...which is why there's no guys allowed, which are in abundance.

4. Women aren't a threat to your relationship, because two women going at it isn't realllllly sex. I've heard stories about women breaking up couples who wanted to ~spice up their sex life~ how's that for a ghost pepper up your asses!

5. You're two separate people, maybe you ought to date/fuck separately. I bet when it comes to something like financial matters, you assholes don't share bank accounts.

6. Did I mention that I'm straight? Maybe a 2 on the kinsey scale, but my interest in women isn't sexual. You flirting, messaging me, etc is basically saying my preference takes backseat to your selfish desires. I'm not a human being, I'm just a marital aide.

7. Dollars to donuts, the female partner doesn't want to lose her husband, or might be closet asexual and just wants to make him happy. He's never going to up and say, "Golly gee honey, how about an extra dick for you?"

8. Hire a sex worker. You know, someone who is down for playing around with and then leaving, which is what some of you want anyway.

9. It's not going to save your marriage; no doubt there's some unaddressed issues with communication or some bullshit I don't give a fuck about.

10. I'm just plain not interested. I can be disappointed in bed by random single men just fine. I don't need to be banged by some Peter Griffin looking motherfucker while Lois wants to tag in.

11. I have social anxiety, and dealing with a guy is stressing enough. But his wife, too? Fuck. THAT.

I think we're done here.
5 Comments
Is a something like a foot massage personal?
Posted:Feb 5, 2019 8:38 am
Last Updated:Feb 5, 2019 11:47 am
509 Views

So Pulp Fiction was on the other day, and that scene where John Travolta (Vince) and Samuel L Jackson (Jules) were discussing foot massages before they came to do a hit on some guys. Vince equated it to giving a woman head, Jules didn't think it a huge deal because he gives his mom foot rubs, and it wasn't even the same thing. Obviously it was if some guy who gave a foot massage to their boss's wife only to end up getting thrown off a balcony (allegedly), then yeah, it is personal.

I don't think it's equal to eating a woman out, but it is an act of service and deference, because Jesus washed the feet of people. I don't give anyone foot massages, but I will lotion my mom's feet or paint her toes if she needs help with it. Yet if you're a woman who is familiar with a guy in romantic (casual or serious) way and he rubs your feet, he probably has interest in more. I remember way back a guy I had hooked up with rubbed my feet, and he got noticibly hard from it. Then he ate me out and fucked me.

The jury is still out on it with me, but to get my feet rubbed in general is nice. I guess I'll need to get over my feet being touched I guess.

I heard an open secret that Quentin Tarantino has a foot fetish, so maybe that conversation in the movie was him thinking about it, so he inserted that dialog in the script?

So men and women alike, what do you think? And by think - I don't need self indulgent rambling about how hard or wet it makes you, just whether you think it's a big deal as it's made out to be.
10 Comments
I can disappoint my ownself in bed
Posted:Feb 1, 2019 12:00 am
Last Updated:Feb 2, 2019 8:30 am
673 Views

That's right, guys. I don't need you to flop ontop of me like a fish with epilepsy, not before getting me wetter than the Sahara at the peak of summer, then busting a nut about five minutes in. Nope. I can toss and turn, sometimes wake up and be up for hours after all I did was go to pee. Yup. Then get up feeling like I been backed over twice. You don't need to let me down. I can do it myself.
5 Comments
Am I just better off single?
Posted:Dec 23, 2018 9:18 am
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2019 10:44 am
832 Views

As I was writing my list yesterday, #10 I believe it is came at the last minute. It also gave me pause, because it's true: Besides the "love" my family used to give me, and my good friends who are amazing towards...I look back on my dating life thus far and I feel like I would miss a lot more if I were in a relationship. Relationships make you complacent; when you expend the energy to get the person in your life, you just stop. Now, I'm not saying this is everyone, but it seems like most on average just stop making the effort.

I'm not saying casual dating and sex are the bomb, either. It's shallow, lonely and people seem to be more dishonest and detached because they think that being a decent person is exclusive only with being romantically linked with some one monogamously. However, it offers variety. If one guy moves on, there'll be another one by shortly....in general. In general. I know that the older we get, the more awoke we are to 21st century dating and we either play the game, or choose to be alone...

Anyway, I'm "loved" by guys as a single person because of the fact that men love the thrill of the chase. Even the enlightened ones sucumb to their base urges to do whatever he can to get get the chance spread his seed. Normally, women in relationships are off limits and the appeal is gone.

Despite my standoffish nature, I like attention and validation. I guess years thinking I don't deserve it, now I do. Relationships in the beginning would be a lot of that, but in time, not so much. At least in my opinion.

Despite the cynical tone here, be happy with either route you choose in life because there's good things about both. And as of late, we've really fell short when it comes to love, affection, and kindness towards each other as a collective. Just enjoy the ride wherever the destination takes you.
5 Comments

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