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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Absolutely nothing
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Absolutely nothing People often ask me "Hey 40 , if Thanos used the reality gem to put me in a Hollywood war movie how would I survive ?" And I tell them - Do not mention your family , girlfriend or hope for the future . Do not keep a treasured picture of them . If you insist on keeping a picture of them , never show it to your buddies. Never show it to your commanding officer . In fact , never show it to anyone . Indeed ,do not even get it out and look wistfully at it . If you have a dark and troubled past , keep it secret for as long as possible , especially if the writers are planning on a prequel . No director ever killed off the mysterious character before his/her time . Do not go crazy . Take every precaution to avoid going crazy , such as regular therapy , calming thoughts and immediately reporting your condition to your superiors if you seem to be becoming unbalanced . Do not lose your cool in the presence of the enemy . There are no more immediately fatal lines than "YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME ?!?" or "I gotta get outta here , man !" Do not , under any circumstances , fall in love or get married while on leave . A foreign mistress in a nearby village is acceptable if you are not a virgin . If you are a virgin , do not lose your virginity to a total stranger while on leave . The most dangerous time for a soldier is few days after losing virginity . Do not , under any circumstances , spend an extended episode contemplating with increasing resolve whether to go back to the front . Small but serious injuries are the most dangerous . If you get sent to the hospital , do not wistfully endure your minor internal injuries and reassure your seriously injured bunkmate that you he gets better before you leave . Do not be a grizzled , opinionated veteran unless it is part of a youthful character arc . The cool old guy always dies in the final act . Do not be the friend or relative of a major character . Be either the most jaded (but NOT cruel) or the most naive (but NOT idealistic) member of the group , and make sure to "learn" about either the importance of teamwork or the true horror of war by the end . Do not be the poet or the really smart guy. Eait to be conscripted , or , if you absolutely must enlist voluntarily , be suitably disillusioned by the time the film actually starts . In any case do NOT be puckishly enthusiastic about putting your life on the line for your country . Do not be the youngest member of your squadron , platoon or unit . If you are get a mentor figure as soon as possible . Make sure that said mentor is not someone you like or respect . Do not be the oldest member of your squad , platoon or unit . If you are do not become a mentor figure to any new recruit . While it helps to be attractive , do your best to not become too beautiful to live . Unless you're a woman , in which case you MUST to be the more conventionally attractive of the two female characters . Whatever your social background , do not have any issues about it , or rise to any goading by your fellow soldiers on the subject . Do not accept a nickname of any kind , unless you a fighter pilot , and only then if it is something cool and manly and not the name of a less-than-impressive animal , cartoon character or a girl's name . Only write letters if they can also serve as voice over narration . Under NO circumstances , write a letter r and put it in your top left shirt pocket . Do not loot anything off of a slain enemy . Do not be in any landing craft , drop ship , or transport helicopter that's in formation with the main characters' own ship . Make sure that you don't have something to prove . Avoid heartwarming and touching cultural exchange with an enemy on the other side unless he is about to die . If your weapon jams in the middle of a battle , do not stop , stand still , and look at said weapon like you've never seen it jam before . If taken prisoner , do not will not use sharp wit and sarcastic sense of humor on your interrogators , under no circumstances quote the Geneva Convention If assigned to investigate a crime that has already taken place with evidence that is really shady and the command has made it clear that they just want the thing to go away , go through the motions and make it go away . If a cease-fire is announced and not everyone believes it , do not light a lighter or strike a match to prove it . Do not swear , make sexual or scatological references , use racially insensitive terms , drink alcohol , or make any reference to drug use . If someone offers you a good luck charm , refuse it. Likewise for a religious medallion. However , if the film is at least half over , accept said item from a dying comrade , if his dying wish is to "make sure this gets to my wife" or similar. But only if you've already survived several run-ins with the enemy . Be jovial , eager for a fight , and as large and muscular as possible , which should guarantee you either the protagonist or a sufficiently tertiary character that your death would have no dramatic resonance . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Remember when Thanos used the time gem to send Scott Bakula to the original Enterprise ? I do Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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some random but interesting thoughts
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What happens if I'm the third female character? Should I be the grizzled, non-mentor veteran? Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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