Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
To sleep , perchance to dream
|
To sleep , perchance to dream So this dude comes up to me and he goes "How's it going 40 , you living the dream ?" which for the record is one of my most hated "officisms" . So I says to him I says " definitely living someone's dream" . He was so taken aback by this that I started to feel weird about saying it . He stared at me for a good 15 seconds . Was he realizing for the first time that our humdrum workaday lives are something that millions , if not billions , of people around the world aspire to ? If you believe in affirmations or something like that keep that in mind - as bad as things are for you there's probably a lot of people that would kill to be in your shoes . I've been listening to the Crystal Method a lot lately . And theories on that ? I mean what is this '97 ? When Nelson Mandela met Spice Girls in 1997 he described it as "One of the greatest moments of my life". So if you like the opposite of affirmations keep that in mind . That was also the year that Eddie Murphy got pulled over with a transsexual in his car - he was just giving her a ride of course . It's amazing how many celebrities give rides to transsexual hookers . It's heartwarming really . I was chatting with my buddy Applejacks the other day and something she said made me dust off the computer and wait 17 minutes for Windows 95 to load to look over some of the unpublished novels I wrote back in the day . They're all terrible (obvs) but the best one of the bunch is one that's about an invasion from space . The twist is that the "invaders" are actually humans that are the decedents of all those alien abductees over the who've been trained to invade earth for the purposes of gambling . In the end the human-humans and the invader-humans make peace once the invader humans are convinced that their entire culture is made-up alien bullshit . I had forgotten this but I even started writing a sequel about how the new people were adjusting to live on earth - spoiler , not well . One of the worst is about a future - like 2010 ! - where pharmaceuticals are used to everything . People can't feel or do anything without taking their medicine is the theory . But a dude comes home and finds another dude plowing his wife and this is all happening without the use of drugs . Scandal ! The first dude requests the drugs he needs to feel angry about this and the drugs he needs to commit a crime of passion and murder them but his request is denied . Then it turns into a buddy-action film where the guy who plowed his wife tries to help him get said drugs . The wife has no dialog and is barely in it besides a description of her nude body written with all the subtly of a 20 year "man" who's never seen a naked lady IRL . One thing I noticed is that in most of my writing unless the main character is a woman there's usually hardly any female characters . Draw what conclusion you will from that . Part of it , hopefully , was that I realized I couldn't write women for shit . THE worst is about prehistoric folks . I never read Clan of the Cave Bear but I read some other rip-off of it and I thought it would be cool to write a novel about cavemen . Plot ? I'll figure that out as I go along . I never did . It's 300+ pages of nothing much happening . Look upon my works ye mighty . 40 didn't you write about wrestling ? Oh course I did , glad you asked ! One of them played it as if wrestling was real . A dude who's an Office Space style cubical monkey ragequits his job and ends up at a wrestling show , which he loved as a but hasn't watched for . For reasons he can't quite explain he jumps the rail and gets in the ring where he gets the shit kicked out of him by the wrestlers . He almost dies and decides he likes it . With no training he starts wrestling and mostly getting wailed on . And then he starts kidnapping women and brainwashing them . In the end he comes world champion and then is killed by police in a stand-off at his cult compound . Another is in the "real" world of fake wrestling . It's about a young woman trying to make it in the "biz" and earn respect . She's had a horrible upbringing of poverty and abuse . Her father , who she never knew , is a The Wrestler style washed up dude still making the rounds . When she meets him for the first time he pulls his sleazy moves on her since he doesn't know she's his . After the success of The Wrestler I dusted this one off and did a little work on it with a tiny notion of maybe sending it somewhere but I killed that hope pretty quickly . Then there was the one about the Peruvian streetfighter who comes to America and falls under the spell of a half Egyptian-half Native American conwoman who drags him into the seedy world of pro wrestling . Also he might be a Nazca god in human form . Then there was the one about a lady wrestling referee who also run a drug ring and a ring and took in a foster . Is there anyone else in the world who's written 4 unpublished wrestling novels ? I hope not , for the world's sake . The only thing worse would be someone who's written 4 PUBLISHED wrestling novels . The WWE actually had a novel published once and it was awesomely terrible . If I have one sincere and fervent wish it's to know what would be a good job for me - but I already know , being the official author for the WWE book collection . If only wrestling fans knew how to read . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
||||
|
Every day could be an adventure . But usually it's not Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| |||
|
Just think - if you were to author a book about collecting WWE related books, then you could add your unpublished WWE books to the list of WWE books to collect. The illiterate WWE fans would clamor to own all the books on your list, you'd get published without anyone worrying about whether your unpublished WWE books were any good because WWE book collectors are illiterate. You'd be rolling in the dough and would no longer need to sell factory reject dildos on the street corner. You're welcome {I want 10%} Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
| |||
|
Better yet you could write an industrial musical for the WWE. What is an industrial musical you ask? I just learned about this genre (from a podcast of course). Big companies would hire playwrights and actors to do an inspirational musical about air conditioners or selling cars or whatever. I feel quite sure you could write an inspirational musical about wrestling.  
| |||
|
Jake Johnson the guy from New Girl? You'll have to fill me in.
|
Become a member to create a blog
