Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Why is it so hard to count your blessings and so easy to be a whiny bitch ?
|
Why is it so hard to count your blessings and so easy to be a whiny bitch ? When I got to work this morning I pulled into a parking place and before I even had the door open these two older (not old) dudes came out of nowhere and said "That spot is reserved !" like it was a Defcon 1 situation . So I says to them I says "How do you know it's not reserved for me ?" And the look of completely disdain that come over the one guy's face was soul neutering (hey come out to TJ Shenanigan's this Friday to see my band Soul Neutering with special guest Spelunking on Pluto) . How could anything EVER be reserved for a worthless sack of whale shit like me ? Some older dudes are clearly hardcases and could wail on a soft middle age sponge like myself easily - there's a dude in my department that does all the wiring and construction require for the IT department and he's like a catcher's mitt with legs . I wouldn't mess with that guy . But these two were your standard flabby pathetic older dudes . I could have easily beaten them both to death . EASILY . But I didn't . Because I rarely do anything I want to . For the record I wasn't parking in a reserved spot on purpose , my "new" job has a parking lot with an insane system for reserved spots with stars and letters and numbers and different kinds of triangles and different things mean different things on different days and some things only mean things on certain holidays and so on and so on . This should have been a first warning to me how this place is run because first of all there's like 9 people that work in the office and second of all pretty much all the spots are the same and third of all who gives a fuck ? Such as at my old building that had THOUSANDS of people in it a reserved spot was just BARELY worth caring about . At this place ? Get over yourself . One of the many things that annoys me is how little power is required for people to get a big head . There's people in my office that clearly think they're king shit of fuck mountain and I want to say to them "You realized your position in this rinky-dink nothing organization that's basically going out of business is about as prestigious as being assigned to guard a jar of mayonnaise right ?" But I don't because I rarely do anything I want . When I was leaving work I stopped at a red light and I had my windows down and Possessed By Paul James ''There Will Be Nights When I'm Lonely' was playing and two construction workers heard it and looked at each other and glanced at me and snorted and said (BANNED HATE SPEECH) . Now obviously I couldn't take them on like I could the phlebitis-ridden older dudes but I could have run them over with my car . What I would have done is circled around and came at them from the north because if I had just gunned it right then they would have scampered out of the way most likely . But if I came at them straight on from the blindside I could have crushed their brains out with my tires . I doubt anyone would have seen it either . And then I could have shown up at their funerals and thrown rocks at their wives and for having such a shit husband/father . But I didn't . Because I rarely do anything I want . But I'm not complaining because I have it pretty good you know ? In other news there's a fellow by the name of Clive (he's English so it's okay that's his name) who's a retired math teacher and he wanted to do something in his retirement to help the community . So what does he do ? He drives around in a van and jerks off in front of people's houses . But he's not a creep because they want his semen . You see he puts it in a syringe and holds it under his armpit to keep it warm while he takes it up to the house and hands it over . Because apparently IVF is super expensive and a lot of people can't afford fancy doctor provided sperm . The part is , according to the article anyway , that the way the law works in the UK is that since he's not making his through an authorized clinic he is the legal father of all these . How many ? 74 at least count . And why doesn't he donate through a clinic ? Because they won't let him . First of all he's too old - which increases the chance of birth defects . Secondly he has a family history of mental illness . Thirdly he has a family history of heart defects . Don't worry though , once he's had 100 this way he's going to stop . You know who doesn't care for this project of his ? His wife . And his (his non-jerk off van ) . No word on what his grandkids think of it . This guy drives around in a van masturbating and he's a hero - but when my uncle Jackson does it . . . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
||||
|
was talkin to my girlfriend I told her I was stressed I said I'm going off the deep end She said give it a rest We're all waiting in the dugout Thinking we should pitch How you gonna throw a shutout If all you do is bitch Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| |||
|
So all of these people too stingy for an IVF clinic are OK with their baby having a higher chance of birth defects and mental illness? I suppose they don't want to ask any of their young, goodlooking, smart, mentally healthy friends to help because it would be "weird". Because there's nothing at all weird about an old creeper jerking off in front of your house! You have raised work rants to the level of art.   
| |||
|
Maybe you should send Uncle Jackson to the UK for his birthday. Promote British biodiversity. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
| |||
|
Interesting... What happened to the parking lot guys? I listened to the Paul James song. Kool. Thanks for that one. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
| |||
|
Best of the ….some unknown time period. Bravo You cannot conceive the many without the one.
| |||
|
mind if I steal guard a jar of mayo when I talk to my sister tonight? it's got a special meaning for her...……... You cannot conceive the many without the one.
|
Become a member to create a blog
